How to know if it a special interest ? Or a routine ?

2021.09.19 10:44 WideSnail How to know if it a special interest ? Or a routine ?

I don't have diagnosis but suspicion from therapist and from me.
But I feel like an impostor because I don't know if I ever had special interest or routines. I'm making a two questions post to avoid spamming sorry.
(TW : bullying )
Just for your information , I got diagnosed with depression at 16 but I think it started before because of bullying. Anyway.
I feel like I don't have a special interest , I try to find if I have one but idk.
My therapist thinks that The Sims 4 ( not the others ) could be seen as a special interest. I can't play anymore because of my broken PC and I am more excited about playing again than about moving in my first apartment. I love the Sims 4 , can't help about spoiling packs when my friend play it but I don't infodump randomly with anyone. I really want to tell my friend when I'm super excited about an update but I don't want to be annoying. I organize my gameplay and save , try to find new challenge to be sure to never be bored and I think I could talk about it for hours , but I don't think about Sims 24/7 , I don't infodump everyday , and don't even play every day ! I feel pretty sad because a huge part of the community hates Sims 4 and I consider this as a personal attack.
I know that I also love cats. Especially since I have a cat. I bought multiple cats book as a kid , and if someone is talking about the cats , like the neighbors cats or mine , even if it's not to me and I was doing something I feel like I have to go talk about those cats with them. I can talk about random fact about my cats or other cats and I often say the same things over and over. I also can't help myself petting cats I see on walk. Only if they are ok with. I don't force them , they sniff my hand and decide wether or not they want to be petted. If they don't I'll just kind of gasp if I spot them in a garden.
But I don't remember having such interest as kid. I actually loved RP on wakfu and even if I don't play anymore I still do RP every day. I loved drawing. Like damn , now I don't draw that much and I'm scared of losing interest in drawing cause it's really important to me. I always had a thing for drawing even if it's not that beautiful.
I could also draw the same stuff over again. I found so many Bart Simpson in my school books. I actually had a thing for Simpson, watching episode everyday , having multiple comics and book about the family but it's not really the case now. And I probably wasn't sharing my interest with anyone at the time.
I always have had a weird love for objects. I don't have full collection or what but I found interest and cared for object that makes no sense : piece of wallpaper that I exposed in my bedroom for weeks , maroons I needed to take , rocks. I had a stuff for snail ,like bringing them to school but I stopped because one of the snail tried to esoscd through a little hold and I was afraid it would cut its head ( it was fine don't worry) and it's funny because I'm the...region of snaiks xD
I had a stuff with green even if I don't really like green that much. But I don't think I infodump that much.
Except about autism. I think about autism since I'm 18 and I talked to my mom almost everyday about it since...
I also had an hyperfixation on total drama and I'm currently rewatching the season even if I have forgot to sleep because of this.
But I don't forget to eat because of my interest. I think. I forget to eat on a regular basis.
I ate the same ice cream for month and now I feel kinda bored about it ah.
I don't have a schedule. But I noticed some stuff. Even if there is many glasses in the kitchen cabinets I'll take the one behind all the other because it's my fav . And felt confused if my favs glass aren't there anymore. Same with Tupperware. They are the same but the oldest have blue coverage so I'll take those even if they're are less accessible in the cabinets. I'll be confused about the new one but I can take them if no choice. I rather like keeping the same plate for putting my cat food in. And...I rarely eat in plates actually...xD
I like sitting in the same spot for eating and I have my fav restaurant. I can be flexible and those stuff but only if it's my decision, and not forced.
I put my mask in a weird way but I can't find my favorite mask so I'm a upset as hell because of the sensory issues and because I need to take of the mask on the street and now I can't lipsync in piece and it feel really wrong.
I also lost my favorite earphones ! And I was bothered because walking without music it's kind of a nope for me. I need my music while walking. I had an other kind of headphone but it wasn't the same. The sound didn't infiltrate my ears with those and I was upset. When I don't have earphones because I forgot them at home , or because the one I have at the time start to do statics I HAVE to buy new one. Even if there is other ones at home.
That's all I can remember but it's...not really that huge compared to other so I feel like every neurotypical do that .
How would you describe a special interest and how it is different from an NT passion/hobby ? And what's an autistic routine ? How is it so different from a NT's one ?
Sorry for mistakes , not my native language.
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